A Romantic Comedy Screenplay

by Erna Mueller


Clare Gargarin, (40) a senior editor at a failing men’s magazine, is in a frenzy trying to reform her sexist younger brother Anton, who is also an editor at the mag, to finally respect women. On top of that, she battles her publishers to update the magazine to feature real women and not airbrushed young models. She has a feature planned about women who overcame obstacles titled “The Spirit of Beauty.” If only she could convince her boss George to greenlight the project. There’s sexual tension between her and her silver fox boss, but George’s girlfriends are young models so Clare gives up hope.

One of the magazine’s new features, which is totally at odds with her agenda, is to follow three guys to the Ukraine in pursuit of beautiful mail order brides. To her horror, one of them is her younger brother Anton. He’s searching for the perfect beauty and old-fashioned wife his Russian father raves about. Anton takes his two lovelorn buddies and co-workers along and the three guys travel to Kiev in search of love. They are forced to drink Vodka like a native, which results in a terrible hangover, and an even worse hangover cure. The next day they barely survive an authentic Ukrainian steam bath, but hey, it’s co-ed without towels. The guys feel like a rooster in a hen house when they get to choose from hundreds of beautiful girls at the meet-and-greet. They pick their fiancées and the girls travel to the U.S. and have only 90 days to find out if they will marry. So the clock ticks. Will the article feature weddings or heartbreak?

But it turns out Anton’s fiancée has a mind of her own. She gains weight since she stopped smoking to adapt to the smoke-free U.S., and therefore in Anton’s eyes, is no longer his gorgeous babe. Can Clare help Anton’s fiancée stand up to him and transform him into a sensitive male? Can Clare revamp the magazine, get her much deserved promotion; and snag her boss along the way?


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